How much can happen ?

The semester is over and i am glad, but at the same time things aren't well. At least in Keene they seemed alright things were going well .. i thought things .. that weren't exactly true... i believed things.. once again not true. I fought for things.. i fought in vain. I tried to remain myself through everything that happen.. i feel that i am lost. If i could possibly explain the ways in which my life has gone to hell .. it would prolly be a best seller.. or hated by everyone.
i wish i could explain how i feel about things with no thought of the reprocussions. I could explain how certain things kept me sane while others drove me nuts, i could explain why i cherish the friends i have, why i consider them familyand why i watch over them or at least try. I write this entry as a personal record to myself. hopefully someday i will look back on this and laugh, look back and be greatful that i wrote this . from a time where i no longer fuck up this life i live. from a time where things are safer than they are now, my only fear is that the ideals that i hold dear will no longer apply in the near distant future. that i should look back with nothing and feel as if i was a fool for ever feeling this way. It is a fear i hope to never realize.

Last Night someone close to me said "don't worry about me, i'm not worth it, don't worry"
i couldn't muster the words then.. prolly still can't now, but i'll try
"I worry about you because being around you makes every fucking thing about life worth it"
"it makes me feel that there is someone else as crazy as i am out there, yet has the guts to admit it" "i worry about you because without you or anyone else in this group i would have nothing left to look forward to, nothing left to enjoy whole heartedly" I know time i short and things may change but for right now, i'll worry about you, because it's better than worrying about myself."

ok i spilled my guts, who's next