Truth

and why politicians use lies to hide it and artists use lies to expose it.

My gripe is not with lovers of the truth but with truth herself. What succor, what consolation is there in truth, compared to a story? what goos is truth, At midnight, in the dark, when the wind is roaring like a bear in the chimney? what you need are the plump comforts of a story the soothing, rocking safty of a lie - Vida Winter

I know nothing of this person and i need not know anything of this person to know that a lie has powers that truth knows nothing about the truth is fact.. what really happened.. but with lies you need never know what really happened as long as some detail of truth be present the lie is powerful... truth and lies feed off each other support and deny each other. so what does this mean to me.. we'll i'll tell you .. because well your reading this.. it means that my entire life i have searched for truth.. but all i was really looking for was a lie a way to tell a story.. that is laced with truth.. seething with detail. and first and foremost a complete fabrication or the mind
i have wanted truth but found i was merely seeking lies

man i can't wait to go on vacation

yea i have worked all summer much like every other college student in the world and i have found myself so burnt out from this life i lead that a vaction is very much needed. i need to gtfo of this town like now.. heavily sedating myself just isn't working anymore and i find myself hating this place more and more by the day.. the people are cool but the place sucks.. work sucks.. doesn't matter what you really do though.. always the lowest paid person on the books.. or off them..just another fucking loser in a fucked town in central Ct that just wants to be free in a town in southern new hampshire once again.. honestly i have no idea what i will do once school is over.. the thought of which is just depressing.. honestly... i see no point in asking the same questions over and over again .. making the same mistakes and just wanting to get something new ... the search for truth ended once i realized there was none... a quest for the american dream was only a falsity that was ingrained within us in our youth.. if they told you how the world really was you would have killed yourself as a child... so much bad.. where is the good where did it all go... i need a vacation....

i miss my home..
i miss my friends...
i miss my wife....
and most of all i miss the other half of my soul.. cause i haven't felt complete since the 5th

Real Bored

so yea i'm at work just chillin with Z listenin to some KMK thinking i wish i could be on the dirty with the windows down and lol's up. this is the summer and we have managed to do a few things which were pretty cool. Nh .. new Boston chilled straight chiefed with morton and Jrome.. went to Keene to eat a sandwich and give a hug then drove back to miss fireworks and get wasted.. lol c block all night.. sorry Jrome but morton sas was pretty funny.. stopped in boston on the way down hit up the quincy market scene got some of the worlf famous pizza and watched "black guys dancing" now were just loading impys and ions and rolling like kings cause we're the only two with jobs. so what do i have to look forward to Incubus-aug 5th ish.. word Nh one more time
Maine which will be straight some open sea kayaking with my uncle seeing my cousin for the first time..just gotta hit up NYC and Keene and things will be complete. for now at least.. then i go home and things would be straight
so yea thats me mad bored with Z discussing our summer and what we do everyday.. any questions comments.. well you know the deal

Why i smoke mad weed

blog post forever

i used my lack of blogging ability to kinda study and i like it.. they are pretty short blurbs but i like to get to the point or lack there of.. i used this mostly as a review of notes but here it is
Week of
March 23rd
This week we discussed rogers and humanism which is an interesting concept because of the ideas of self actualization and things of that nature. To become somewhat enlightened and make of the world what you want is a really cool concept Then there was Maslow who "created" humanistic approach. Moving toward self actualization because we want to grow as individuals. i wonder how many people find themselves to be self actualized.?

March 30th
existentialism and rollo may. combining psych with philosophy, thats one killer team. the constant questions of this theory are interesting the why are we here, what is the meaning of this and why we do the things we do. That all interesting because it seems like as much as people think they have a grasp on what the human mind is capapble of it seems that the mind changes to throw us for a loop.

April 6th
Construct theory because everything we do fits into a constuct of our thoughts that somehow shape how we will react in certain situations but this seems like it is ment to be set like if this situation occured again and again the result would be the same.. i'm not a fan of this because honestly i don't even know what i'm gunna do half the time and if it was as simple as this seems i think i would have been able to figure myself out.. ya know?
construtive alternativism?.. sp?.. prolly not we control our own destiny that is a theory i can get behing because i would like to believe that i can control my own life but at the same time too many coincidences occur in life for them to be coincedences.. ya know?


April 13th
yea i really can't remember what we did for this class.. possibly i was sick... i dunno that seemed to be my whole semester sick all the time.. yea i don't like it at all

April 20th
4 20 word to that class well once again i'm not gunna say i remember it but i feel like ray cattel may have been this class if not it was the next week which is fine because i wanna talk about buddhism in the next part cause i loved that class but back to ray.. yea it sucks what happened to him but i can't say i blame them or him.. i don't think you should be descriminated against in any way shape or form.. if you believe something and truely believe it who is to tell you your wrong.. even if the action or belief is morally wrong from a christian point of view it doesn't make that view any less important. believe what you want. maybe someday we'll find out who was right.


April 27th
Zen Buddhism- i love this "there is no spoon" type stuff. i like to think that the world is really an illusion of the mind and that you should just let go of worldly possessions and relationships..it's all so interesting i just love it.. i like to consider myself a psydo buddhist because i believe in enlightenment i find it so fasinating

another class post

so yea this is another class post if i could remeber what we talked about that would be awesome but i believe it had something to do with learning theories and conditioning which i think is right cause i don't believe i have blogged about that yet.. i actually really like the learning theories it's interesting to try and understand how the mind works and how we learn to do things.
i think thats really all i got for now.. i'll come up with some more clever stuff later i think

but yea vacation was nice
i was able to see and hang out with people i haven't seen in years, i actually liked being home for once which is weird because i usually hate going home. something about that town just isn't right and i feel like somehow i don't belong there anymore.. i kinda wish i could explain it better but to whom i know not.. you don't really have to understand it i guess.. cause it's my deal

peace

a post to correct the mistakes of the past

okay so this is what i am going to do right here right now.. go through pretty much everything that has been going on in an attempt to catch up and remain caught up.

so..
week of february 9th
this week was about Horney some Jung and Fromm.. i particularly like horney i like the basic anxiety stuff the hyper competitiveness i think that interesting coming from a somewhat competitive backround. the need for neurotic trends which i think appys very well to people today.. at least the people i know and my personal favorite is Ideal vs Real self.. because personally my ideal self and my real self are not even in the same zip code. i mean personally the things that i want to accomplish and the things that i do not the same at all... and i find it interesting because as much as i want to be this person.. i am not.. i have this vision of who i want to be and who my parents want me to be and who everbody wants me to be.. but all i can be is me who i am at this point and after years upon years of pondering this i have come to accept that i live by a code of my own ethics and i am happy with them. granted i honestly think i was brainwashed as a child and i have been trying very hard to work out of this "shell" that i feel i was put in most of the ethics that i stand by were there before i was brainwashed at least thats what i believe.. sounds crazy?... you'd understand if you were me.


week of february 16th
Yea this week we talked about escaping from freedom and fromms theory on the escape mechanisms from freedom and the feelings of isolation and lonliness. well the escapes are authoritarianism? destructivenss and automaton conformity. all of which are interesting but i wonder where do non destructive non comformists go and if you fall into those catagories why would you ever want to be lead... don't they follow and don't they also not want to lead everyone.. i dunno i think about some strange things sometimes... but yea we had a test the other day so i'm going to leave this one At that..

week of february 23rd
Erik Erikson is in the game this week and this is the crisis of identity cause even didn't know who he was or where he came from and hey thats something that every college student can relate to.. he cam up with stages Intimacy vs isolation is one of my personal favorites but thats just because it's something i can directly relate to ... i got lots of stuff going on and i forgot how much better you feel after venting over blogger i should do this much more often i think..

ohh yea we did kernberg aswell object relations stuff figuring out whats you and whats everything else.. yea fun stuff

week of March 2nd
welcome to B F skinner and the behavior theory. skinner box reinforcement all that fun stuff you learned in intro to psych with a lil more information operant behavior yea this is more of the stuff i like cause it's interesting and it's less of a tax on my brain.

yea thats what i got so far that should catch me up any objections lemme know if not have a nice day



Peace Love.. sorry for the long post
Matt Bosh