Cruel

i was told it is cruel to not to actually tell you why my weekend was so bad but if you really want to know well this is it. on friday i ventured home, withing five seconds of being home i had to fix my car up it lacked fluids and such, get it on the road and drive my stressed mother to waterbury where she works( which is 45 minutes away at normal travel speeds) in a half hour.. so i am gunning it down back roads with no fear of getting arrested. the traffic is horrible and i honestly have to drive like an asshole to get where i need to be. My mother who was just out of surgery next to me freaking out .. and my gas gauge has hit zero. i need to be at waterbury hospital before 4 i pull into the parking lot at 3:58 and literally skid up to the door then pray i have the gasoline to make it to the next station. we are too late and about four feet from the gas station my engine goes dead and i coast very slowly into the station and push my car up to the pump..
and yea thats just friday
saturday after a night of no sleep and very uniteresting things to do. i must be awake at 6:30 well that was easy it was the driving to NB for my brother to take his driver's license test.. my car doesn't pass so he can't use that and that being the only car he has ever driven.
my aunt comes through and comes up with a car that can pass my brother gets his license and thus ends what freedom i ever had in my house.. no car.. i can no longer escape and i was slowly driven to the point where i was flipping out about anything and everything .. yes i was having a serious mental breakdown.. everything has some meaning that sets my soul on fire and i must express some form of aggression. so yea this is the point where ever member of my family thinks i'm suicidal and feels the constant need to reach out to me and convince me not to do it.. yea that would be great cept i'm not suicidal, it drives me more insane all i want to be is left alone thats all i ever wanted to be left alone in a ball on my bed thinking for the rest of my life but no someone has to say something reach out do something sure you care and yes i understand caring and helping someone but it's not gunna help and i would rather just be left alone to my own devices, ever fear i had came out, ever bad memory, moment, it was everything you could possible see as evil or bad in my life coming out and kicking my ass to the point where all i want to do is scream. Sunday i get a phone call.. the second i hit the only place that feels like home.. i turn the phone off and throw it against the wall .. the word home flashes on the small black and blue screen.. as it smashes against the wall.. the voicemail comes through after i put whats left of the phone back togather... boo.. try hard in school we don't want you to fail out cause it seems like you need help.. (enter where everyone reading this thinks for a second this kid does need help)

sumed up , i lost my mind, freedom, and confidence all in a matter of two days .. yea thanks